Let Me Love and Not Be Respected, Watchman Nee
Songs and Hymns of Life #424
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For a long time, the words of this hymn were enjoyed, memorized and even placed on saints’ walls just as a poem without music. This hymn waited 46 years to be paired with a perfect setting that seals its effect in our hearts. This post will consider how the music fits the feeling of the poem, uncovers its message, and draws us into the author’s prayer. The lyrics below are formatted according to the musical structure. Please sing the hymn.
Let me love and not be respected;
Let me serve and not be rewarded;
Let me labor and not be remembered;
Let me suffer and not be regarded.
’Tis the pouring, not the drinking;
’Tis the breaking, not the keeping—
A life suff’ring to seek others’ blessing,
A life loving and true comfort giving.
Not expecting pity and concern,
Not accepting solace and applause;
Even lonely, even forgotten;
Even wordless, even forsaken.
Tears and blood, my price
For the righteous crown shall be;
Losing all, my cost
For a faithful pilgrim’s life.
’Twas the life, O Lord, that You chose to live
In those days when on earth You walked,
Gladly suff’ring all injuries and loss
So that all might draw near and repose.
I cannot see how much farther I shall go;
Still I press on, knowing there is no return.
Let me follow Your pattern, so perfect and true,
Bearing ingratitudes without complaint.
In this time of trial, O my Lord,
I pray that You would wipe my hidden tears away;
Let me learn, O Lord, You are my reward;
Let me be others’ blessing all my days.
The music for this poem is very special. The tune matches the flow and sentiment of the poetry so well that some of the challenges involved in pairing a tune with the poem are worth mentioning. Though the translation is very smooth, the lines do not follow regularly metered syllable counts so it will not fit well into traditional hymn tunes. Typically, lyrics are broken up into stanzas which lend themselves to short tunes and can incorporate choruses easily. But this poem is almost one continual thought, so to break it up may feel artificial and could hinder its clarity of thought. To let each line run together allows it to flow as one stream of consciousness and sweeps us into the author’s cry. All of this required an original tune of much longer length than a typical hymn tune.
The sister to compose such a fitting setting is Mimi Lam (Lin Zhiwei, 1947-2001). Mimi Lam grew up in Hong Kong and studied in southern California. She had a unique gift for music and poetry. Playing several instruments and writing many poems, she produced many hymns which were sung among the saints she was meeting with. Apparently because of her quiet personality, many could miss realizing the extent of her musical talents. She also grew up in a devout and large family and had a firm desire to know the Lord. One of her closest friends said of her, “The most important thing Sister Zhiwei is doing is being close to the Lord.”
In 1976, she took this poem, which was already beloved by many saints around her, and began to work out a tune. She decided to lay out one long continuous line, blending the changing sentiments of the text with melodies and keys which bring out the text’s meaning. This exercised not just her skill but also her insight into the spiritual value of the words. The result is very organic as one homogenous ode married to the heart of the song.
Firstly, the ‘Let me love’ melody is a sober, walking tempo in a minor key, setting the tone for the hymn. This is the longest melodic section of the tune. It is serious and reflective and the singer is not given hints as to how the song will advance. ‘Not expecting pity and concern’ brings us to a new section. Here we shift to a major key with more energy in the melody which quickly gives way to a march in ‘Tears and blood my price for the righteous crown shall be.’
This is all to prepare for the crux of the song: ‘Twas the Life, O Lord, that you chose to live…’ With these four lines, the author is revealing that his earlier requests are reflections on the life of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is the anchor of his considerations. To highlight this, sister Lam brings in the most different music of the hymn. What was once rhythmic, pulsing bass notes on the piano give way to flowing, lyrical lines that sing with the more gentle and pensive melody, bringing us all into sober wonder at Jesus’ example. We writhe under the life described. He chose this. He came to His own and His own did not receive Him (John 1:11). He gladly, willingly suffered all so that we may draw near and repose. What love, compassion, and humanity.
In light of our Lord’s pattern, the author resolves to follow. The line ‘I cannot see how much farther I shall go;’ is paired with a strong, declamatory melody, and the final lines naturally blend all the previous melodies into one voice in the minor key. From ‘In this time of trial, O my Lord’ to the end, Sister Lam has the author singing with the melody from the crux. He is singing the song of his Master and this faith has united him with the life of his Lord. The final fermata, or hold, emphasizes the one promise of the servant, ‘Let me learn, O Lord, You are my reward…’, and his one aim, ‘Let me be others’ blessing all my days.’ May this hymn take us on a journey through the difficult pathway of the pilgrim’s life, to worship in light of our Savior’s experience, and unto deeper consecration to follow Him and to serve as He has arranged for us.
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What about you? Are there ways in which the melody brings out the meaning of the words that you have thought about? How has the Lord touched you through this hymn? In your place in life, what does it mean for you to love without being respected, serve without being remembered, etc.? Please leave your reflections in the comments below.
